Sobriety: What's the big deal?

A bit of background: Last evening, I attended a tacky Christmas party, thrown by one of my old sorority sisters. Of course, alcohol was advertised as part of the evening, which honestly, was no big deal to me. My excitement was mostly drawn from getting to wear a ridiculous outfit and play Dirty Santa/Yankee Swap. Oh, and seeing friends. I love my friends and senior year has been a difficult mistress, often interfering with my attempts at a social life.

Upon my arrival at the party, I was immediately directed to the alcohol. Really? At this point, I had kept my decision to not drink anymore to myself. I didn’t mention it at this point either. Of course, I socialized, greeting those I knew and meeting new friends. Not long after, one of my closest friends, pledge sister and “date” for the evening (since we were 2 of the 3 single people invited), caught me at the mini-fridge and attempted to give me a beer. I politely declined and to my surprise, she balked. It did not make any sense to her that I would come to a party with zero intention to imbibe. I calmly explained my reasoning – caloric intake, cost and the plethora of negative things alcohol had helped create in my life. Yet again, she was dumbfounded. Alcohol, to her, and several other guests listening, was the best way to have a good time. Yes, I understand, most of the attendees are in college or are recent graduates, but seriously?

Why is alcohol such a necessary component to these people’s, and anyone‘s really, “good time”? Alcohol does take the edge off and make it much easier to socialize with that group of girls you don’t know and who intimidated you slightly at first. Yes, it helps people flirt with each other. Confidence can be gained with a drink, but so can stupidity. Let’s not even get into drunk driving, but that’s just a scratch on the surface of all the idiotic things drinking too much can do to you.

This post isn’t really intended to be a “drinking is awful” rant. Honestly, my main issue is the fact that out of the 20 or so people attending this shindig, only three understood and/or agreed with my decision regarding alcohol. I firmly believe (although I struggle with practicing) in that whole “Judge not that ye be not judged” thing (see Matthew 6 in the Bible if you’re curious). I willingly went to a party where there would be alcohol, sans a desire to drink, and had no problem with my friends drinking. Yet, my personal and quiet opposition to doing something I don’t want to do was greeted with confusion and annoyance.

Needless to say, I had a great time. Food, dancing, ridiculous Christmas/Hanukah gifts and great friends…what could be better? I went home at the same time as everyone else and guess what? I didn’t wake up this morning with the splitting headache, nausea and exhaustion that comes with that splendid after-effect of alcohol – the hangover.

I think the Beatles said it best, “All you need is love.” I’ll try to keep that in mind from now on when I’m quick to judge someone or when someone’s opinion of me irks my spirit.

a fearful need for incessant communication

Recently, a realization hit me. My life has been really sheltered. Not to the extent that one would associate with homeschooled children (not that there’s anything wrong with that form of education….although my 2 years did place me a year behind my peers when I entered mainstream education), but in the fact that I have seen and experienced very little outside my little comfort zone of Memphis. At times, I could blame it on my parents and now on school and a lack of true traveling funds. What it all breaks down to, honestly, is fear. I am scared to leave my family and the steady pace of my life as it is. But, a life lived in fear cannot be true living. The blessing of one life to live may be the second greatest gift I have received. Squandering it by staying comfortable and sedentary would be, what seems to me, almost a sin. My desire to break out of this box may be coming at the perfect time. Graduation quickly approaches and with it an entire world of opportunities. Yes, graduate school is my primary plan for next fall, but I feel like, with God’s blessing, might be the springboard to me breaking out of this shell.
I am ashamed to admit that my walk with Christ has become too comfortable as well. My growth seems to have diminished and I am the one to blame for that. A routine is all too easy for me. I love spontaneity but with the stress of school, two jobs, volunteering, a social life, you name it, the best relationship I have is the first to go on the backburner. This susceptibility to denying the One who I owe my all, anything less than all of me is something I must strive to correct. I have found when I am putting my focus primarily on Christ, everything else seems to work out. How simple is that? That’s not to say I do any less work than I would without the focus on Him, but everything is much less stressful. As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, this situation will always be preferable. However, with my inane human ability to be selfish and think of myself before my Creator, I suffer, on an almost daily basis.
With this all being said, I feel as though I need to take time to be completely and utterly alone with God. I spend so much time talking, communicating, texting, tweeting, whatever, that it amazes me that He doesn’t give me laryngitis all the time so I shut up. Seriously, He didn’t say, talk all the time so we can understand. No, he stated, “Be still and know that I am God.” So, my goal for the next couple of months is to learn to be silent and learn from God. I’d love to find a silent retreat to be a part of, as I do not believe I have the willpower to go on that kind of journey alone. Who knows though? Maybe I’ll be ready for that sooner than I think.